23.10.2014

Here comes the auspicious occasion of Hindus Diwali. The whole country’s maximum generation awaits for this festival to have leaves and enjoy some time with their family.

Same here I traveled across the ocean from dubai to India on 3 days leave. Reaching back in hometown, i have always received a warm welcome. Most of the time from my neighbors. Either it is about waiting on the roof to have glimpse of me or as soon as i reach home she comes over my home and wakes me up.

Everything which means everything is missing. I could not see her for at least 8 hr from the time i have reached home. She doesn’t want to see me. She doesn’t want to talk to me. She just want to ignore me.

I have started doing all wrong things like sending messages continuously as i am already blocked on what’s app and FB. Till today means in 2 days i have sent more then 50 messages without a single response. I just cant resist myself when she doesn’t respond to me. I want to cry but how many times i can go to washroom in a day. I visited her academy she ignored me i visited her home she ignored me but still i love her.

I agree, everything is happening because of me. I have done so many mistakes but now i have understood what life means to me.

It’s YOU..!!!

I just want to marry you.

Bad Guy in Good World….

Here i am the bad guy.

Probably that how people will judge me the way i have started doing/behaving with people around me. It could be my friends, people who love me or relatives.

I do remember there was a time when i was called most innocent guy. A very Good Friend of friends, a very good son of parents and of course a good boyfriend for the my girl. Everything turned too fast that i didn’t even realize when all that stuff happened in my life. It hardly took 3-4 month that i have screwed everything around me.

The very first of my mistake was to take it too casually to cheat on my girl, who was with me for 7 years during the time when i had nothing, i used to look like a dumb ass whom no girl would like to date to. what i did?? I dumped her, reason?? still trying to figure out.

Second, hooked up to another girl, who was actually a friend only from last 3 years. It was love or Infatuation dont know. One thing was sure that i liked her and couldn’t resist myself to talking to her for more then 2 days. Only problem was she wanted something from life for which i was not at all ready. After a 4 month relationship with lots of hiccups, have taken a hard decision to let her go on her way, as i dont find myself suitable for her. It wasnt easy but was required to leave her as my life isnt gonna way easy everyone expect. I just Wish for much Happiness in her life.

That’s how a boy about whom everyone thought will be different from other and will stay with one girl been through 2 girl and yes with a lot of thinking in his own mind. Many of you may think not a big deal, It happens with most of the guys or most of the guys want they should get someone for sometime and then move one but i am not one of them which i have realized so far. You can run from people but you can not run from your own thinking. All those subject/person have been in my life will chase me forever. I couldn’t continue with 2nd girl coz of lots of memories of the first one and now there are two. Whatever you call it cheated on them or made a fool of them somewhere in my heart i am also not happy for what i have done. I can not bring back past to make everyone happy. It is me who has made their life awful and will be ashamed of everything bad day i have given them.

In the end i just pray for their Happiness and Goodwill.

Signing off

And.. Its all Over.

Yes it is. 

I never thought that this story(actually reality) would come to an end and that too in this manner. Yes, we broke up. A relation which started 8 years back come to an end. I do remember she always wanted me to write about us, Our Kinda Love Story. I always gave her some or the other excuse and never wrote about it. 

Today when we fall apart don’t know why but i am writing. May be as i always say writing gives me space in my mind or whatever i write things gets shift deleted from my mind and stop disturbing me.

The relation which started somewhere in 2006, don’t shout that i don’t even know the eject date as she already knows that i am too bad with remembering dates. So yeah back to point relation which started in 2006. It was all me who wanted her in my life desperately. She was my neighbor(Just opposite to my house).

Actually it stated much before 2006, we were child. I do remember what all silly things i did to see her, to meet her. Let me go into detail. My parents and neighbors always appreciated me, you know why?? while coming i always use to close the outside door but actually reason behind was very simple while closing the door i can see her as her house was just opposite to our house. Now please don’t laugh because this is not it. If i recall there is one more thing which stated because of her. All of my friends ask me why i do fast on Tuesday. So here is the answer. It was never because of some votive from God and till date it is not. It started just because it gave me the opportunity to visit her house every Tuesday for offering sacrament. Here it doesn’t end. I do followed her on the way to collage(Yet i was in school) and exchanged chits. In the same way i have done thousand of silly things just to see her to meet her. Was it love?? Yes it was.

 

Its been more than one week and very less people are aware about it and i am sure when most of my best buddies will get to know about it definitely will gonna curse me. But what happened why the story is ending in such a drastic way?? There are thousands of reasons some says i have changed. Yes, may be.

I can still recall the best time we have spent together and when it comes about us, Jaipur must be mentioned. It was my engineering Aug-2006. At that time if you had a phone either its Nokia 1100, you are a gadget guy and messages, it wasn’t free at all. I never had that much courage to go in front of her and propose her. So being a techie guy my proposal was on e-mail. Yes it was on email, with so many colors and with a small Note(Please don’t get angry even if you dont like it). So why did i wrote the note in the end?? It was written because most of my friends are not aware about this but she was egoistic and very have handled many guys badly because they have tried the same. Yes, You are right that she can not come over e-mail and beat me up, but i was her neighbor and i have to visit my home. At the same time i didn’t wanted to loose her completely that even if she rejects at least keep talking to me.

Initially my proposal was rejected and that too with a big lecture. Lecture as below.

“Sahil you are there to study not for all these things. Please concentrate on your engineering as your parents have so many expectation from you and so many things which a don’t remember… 😦 “

So what do you expect after that, A heart break right. Same happened with me. I was in mess when i have received this message, i left my food in between and directly went to my bed and stated crying. Now, please don’t make fun. Even guys cry sometime that too when your first proposal is rejected. Anyways we were still talking and by that time so many schemes stated for free messaging. Messages became a kind of routine for me either i am eating, sleeping, playing(outdoor games), attending classes. I means even if today i check my old photos, in almost all photos i will be holding my Motorola C168. After my so much pressure and as we were talking almost every seconds she said Yes. Yes she said Yes to my proposal. Yes, i got committed in first year of my collage.

If i talk about her, actually i should not talk as i will fall short of vocabulary, In short she was awesome either its about beauty or about emotions or about attitude. She was the cowboy of her home by all reasons. Either its about getting a 20 kg cylinder from LPG warehouse on bicycle or about visiting any of the govt. office for any paperwork. I mean people in City Council or Notary people known her by her face. Always positive attitude. I do remember when i visited city council with her and i was a bit shy for asking anything to officers over there and she was like running from one table to another and scolding each and every officer over there. This is how she was.

 

To be continued…